Eine neue Ehe – mit dem gleichen Partner

Marc Driscoll, geradliniger und nicht unumstrittener Leiter einer grossen Gemeinde im urbanen Seattle, hat zusammen mit seiner Frau ein Ehebuch „Real Marriage“ geschrieben. Ich habe bloss eine Rezension gelesen. Zwei Dinge haben mich bewegt:

1. Eine neue Ehe, und zwar mit dem gleichen Partner.

Starting with their own story, the Driscolls share how their marriage was nearly shipwrecked through years of difficulty, a lack of intimacy, poor communication, and unresolved sin issues. “We were together, but both very lonely,” they explain. Eventually things came to a head after Mark Driscoll burned out his adrenal gland around 2006. “I needed a new life,” Mark writes. “I did not need a new job, but a new plan for that job. I also needed a new marriage, but wanted to have a new marriage with the same spouse. “ The degree of openness they show might come as a surprise to many readers. It is risky but also necessary to be this vulnerable. It’s risky because the confession gives critics an opportunity to cry foul (“What gives them the right to write a book on marriage if theirs has been so bad?”). But it’s absolutely necessary for readers whose marriages are in danger of falling apart (or perhaps already have) to know there is hope. A broken marriage can be repaired, by God’s grace. 

2. Ehepartner als Freunde

So what does it take to make a good marriage? At its most basic level, you can’t have a godly marriage if you don’t have friendship. They writes, “All the talk about spending time and doing life together, making memories, being a good listener, growing old and taking care of each other, being honest, having the long view of things, repenting and forgiving can be summed up in one word—friendship.“ This might seem obvious—at least it should be. But, as the authors note, friendship is often ignored in literature on Christian marriage. If spouses can’t be friends, they’ll quickly become enemies.