In der Regel beginnt ein Ehekonflikt mit der Wahrnehmung eines Partners. Was sind Hindernisse, diese Wahrnehmung zur Sprache zu bringen? Pavel Raus, der in Tschechien ein Buch über Ehekonflikte publiziert hat, zählt einige auf:
- Our mind is fixed on one expected positive reaction of the partner.
- We are set on partner’s negative response and are discouraged by even slightly un-positive unwillingness of the partner.
- Little positive signals are for us overly negligible.
- We communicate exclusively in only one way.
- We ascribe to the partner negative attributes and by that we predetermine his/her behavior.
- We see ourselves as less capable and more helpless than we really are.
- We protect ourselves and choose safe instead of vulnerable position.
- We choose an inapt moment when the partner is tired or weakened.
- We are too quick to consider a situation to be hopelesss and the battle to be lost.
- We are afraid and excessively sensitive.
- We do not trust ourselves.
- We talk too much or too little.
- We talk too loud or too quiet.